Started the morning with Johnny cash’s ONE, and ended my drive with Coldplay… The air is cold and clean, autumn weather is finally coming to the Poconos. Driving in the car, feeling the cool air on my arm, the blue sky and the sun shining, I remember how much I love this season. When you drive two hours a day to and from work your mind wanders to the past. Sometimes, I really don’t like thinking about the past, it hurts, I go through plans of what I should have done, and then I get depressed. It’s one of the reasons I listen to CD novels, to keep my mind away from the past and all the pain that keeps on rolling up like a black tide. My life is so different now, still troublesome, still hard, but I’m happier now. We are still waiting for news about the new apartment, we are packing and throwing tons of stuff away, and with everything I throw away, I remember the past… I rather have a bottle in front of me, then have a frontal lobotomy…but sometimes I’m not so sure.
- Mood: anxious